Heartache with Hard Work
A few weeks ago, Germanicus, trying to dissuade me from being with an older man, pointed me to a simile he learned in sociology: life is like a snake: a.k.a. something had to unhinge it's jaw to take you in, and after that it's all downhill, and really, you're just traveling through this digestive system we call Life, only to be shat out at the end. Why would anyone, fairly undigested, want to have anything to do with someone who is much closer to becoming shit? I dunno, Germanicus, why do you think we're standing here, a 20-year-old and a 53-year-old, having an intelligent, enriching conversation?
It is true that being in a relationship with someone much older than you is hard. I'm 21, Thom is 49, and while I'm young and fresh, full of promise, he's been fairly well beaten down by life. I know that I'm marrying a man with curmudgeonly tendencies, that I'll be looked upon as a gold-digger or something, or, at very best, as wired by my peers, and that I will have to nurse someone, who will probably not outlive my parents by much (if at all, although he's in much better health) on his deathbed when I am all of 50 or 60.
I'm also not going to sit here and be the 21-year-old (I had the conversation with Germanicus when I was 20) know-it-all. I know that life is hard, but I also know that I don't know just how hard it's going to be. I know that I haven't had "enough" life experience to do...well, anything that 30-year-olds pride themselves on being able to do: get married, have kids, get into debt, hold down a job. Well, I'm about to get married, I'm not about to populate this over-populated earth with my screaming spawn, I don't carry a lick of debt, and I've always been able to hold down a job (no matter how crappy) so...what is it that 30-year-olds insist they've got over me, aside from having been on this planet longer and having been able to think about stuff for a longer period of time? In Lost in Translation, Bill Murray's character said that growing older was easier than being young because you know yourself and you know what you like and dislike. Sounds reasonable to me. However, I think I have learned something valuable in my life so far:
Don't talk down to someone just because they're younger than you.
If someone is an idiot, THEY will out themselves as such, and THEY will be the only one to pay for it (hopefully.) So, instead of loading people down with the lessons you've learned, (like I did just now) let them talk to you, hear what they have to say, and then you can say, "Well, things may turn out differently for you [and isn't it funny how things turn out differently for different people coming from different backgrounds?], but here's what happened with me."
Life is suffering. I'm figuring it out, I promise.
At any rate, since being engaged to an older man and being criticized for your immaturity, even though you have never shown yourself in your entire life to act younger than your age, is hard work, sometimes it's nice to take a break from trying to convince people that you know life is hard.
That's where Heartache with Hard Work comes in. You need to download the Camera Obscura songs. Good things can and do happen, for instance, like falling in love with someone for who they are, even if the match between you both isn't "socially acceptable."
It is true that being in a relationship with someone much older than you is hard. I'm 21, Thom is 49, and while I'm young and fresh, full of promise, he's been fairly well beaten down by life. I know that I'm marrying a man with curmudgeonly tendencies, that I'll be looked upon as a gold-digger or something, or, at very best, as wired by my peers, and that I will have to nurse someone, who will probably not outlive my parents by much (if at all, although he's in much better health) on his deathbed when I am all of 50 or 60.
I'm also not going to sit here and be the 21-year-old (I had the conversation with Germanicus when I was 20) know-it-all. I know that life is hard, but I also know that I don't know just how hard it's going to be. I know that I haven't had "enough" life experience to do...well, anything that 30-year-olds pride themselves on being able to do: get married, have kids, get into debt, hold down a job. Well, I'm about to get married, I'm not about to populate this over-populated earth with my screaming spawn, I don't carry a lick of debt, and I've always been able to hold down a job (no matter how crappy) so...what is it that 30-year-olds insist they've got over me, aside from having been on this planet longer and having been able to think about stuff for a longer period of time? In Lost in Translation, Bill Murray's character said that growing older was easier than being young because you know yourself and you know what you like and dislike. Sounds reasonable to me. However, I think I have learned something valuable in my life so far:
Don't talk down to someone just because they're younger than you.
If someone is an idiot, THEY will out themselves as such, and THEY will be the only one to pay for it (hopefully.) So, instead of loading people down with the lessons you've learned, (like I did just now) let them talk to you, hear what they have to say, and then you can say, "Well, things may turn out differently for you [and isn't it funny how things turn out differently for different people coming from different backgrounds?], but here's what happened with me."
Life is suffering. I'm figuring it out, I promise.
At any rate, since being engaged to an older man and being criticized for your immaturity, even though you have never shown yourself in your entire life to act younger than your age, is hard work, sometimes it's nice to take a break from trying to convince people that you know life is hard.
That's where Heartache with Hard Work comes in. You need to download the Camera Obscura songs. Good things can and do happen, for instance, like falling in love with someone for who they are, even if the match between you both isn't "socially acceptable."
posted by Emily @ 4:23 PM
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